Latest topics
» New Guild Forum
english gcse exams answers EmptyMon Oct 19, 2009 1:30 am by Gav-C

» akaros donates 1 x 50 marble
english gcse exams answers EmptySat Oct 17, 2009 4:50 am by Gav-C

» Gulster donates 5 x 10 marbles
english gcse exams answers EmptySat Oct 17, 2009 4:44 am by Gav-C

» Makijato 5 x 10 marbles
english gcse exams answers EmptyFri Oct 16, 2009 3:19 pm by Gav-C

» Voodoouk 3 x 10 marbles
english gcse exams answers EmptyFri Oct 16, 2009 10:09 am by Gav-C

June 2020
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Calendar Calendar


english gcse exams answers

Go down

english gcse exams answers Empty english gcse exams answers

Post by jimbo1234 on Thu Feb 19, 2009 12:09 pm

Q : Name the four seasons.
A : Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q : Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A : Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q : How is dew formed?
A : The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q : What is a planet?
A : A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q : What causes the tides in the oceans?
A : The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology

Q : What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A : If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q : In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A : Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q : What are steroids?
A : Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology

Q : What happens to your body as you age?
A : When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q : What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A : He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q : Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A : Premature death.
Q : What is artificial insemination?
A : When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q : How can you delay milk turning sour?
A : Keep it in the cow.
Q : How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
A : The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q : What is the Fibula?
A : A small lie.
Q : What does "varicose" mean?
A : Nearby.
Q : What is the most common form of birth control?
A : Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q : Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A : The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q : What is a seizure?
A : A Roman emperor.
Q : What is a terminal illness?
A : When you are sick at the airport
Q : Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A : Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
English

Q : Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A : Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q : What does the word "benign" mean?
A : Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology

Q : What is a turbine?
A : Something an Arab wears on his head.

_________________
english gcse exams answers Jimbo4-1
"o fluffy sheep, o fluffy sheep,
r wonderful, r wonderful,
o fluffy sheep r wonderful,
welsh white and fluffy,
o fluffy sheep r wonderfull"
jimbo1234
jimbo1234
Semi_Pro
Semi_Pro

Number of posts : 130
Age : 34
Location : Land Of The Fluffy Sheep
Registration date : 2008-07-09

Back to top Go down

english gcse exams answers Empty Re: english gcse exams answers

Post by jimbo1234 on Thu Feb 19, 2009 12:11 pm

Humpty Dumpty sat on his bed
As little Bo Beep was giving him head
Just as he came she began to weep
She could tell by the taste hed been shaggin her sheep!!

_________________
english gcse exams answers Jimbo4-1
"o fluffy sheep, o fluffy sheep,
r wonderful, r wonderful,
o fluffy sheep r wonderful,
welsh white and fluffy,
o fluffy sheep r wonderfull"
jimbo1234
jimbo1234
Semi_Pro
Semi_Pro

Number of posts : 130
Age : 34
Location : Land Of The Fluffy Sheep
Registration date : 2008-07-09

Back to top Go down

english gcse exams answers Empty Re: english gcse exams answers

Post by jimbo1234 on Thu Feb 19, 2009 12:15 pm

Be very proud to be British Because:

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we wont miss a call from someone we didnt want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

8 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

RULE BRITANNIA!!

_________________
english gcse exams answers Jimbo4-1
"o fluffy sheep, o fluffy sheep,
r wonderful, r wonderful,
o fluffy sheep r wonderful,
welsh white and fluffy,
o fluffy sheep r wonderfull"
jimbo1234
jimbo1234
Semi_Pro
Semi_Pro

Number of posts : 130
Age : 34
Location : Land Of The Fluffy Sheep
Registration date : 2008-07-09

Back to top Go down

english gcse exams answers Empty Re: english gcse exams answers

Post by ~Callaway~ on Thu Feb 19, 2009 3:19 pm

bloody hilarious guys

~Callaway~
Amature
Amature

Number of posts : 10
Location : Calgary Alberta, Canada
Registration date : 2009-01-14

Back to top Go down

english gcse exams answers Empty Re: english gcse exams answers

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum