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Types of Sex

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Types of Sex Empty Types of Sex

Post by LiTe on Thu Jan 22, 2009 6:35 am

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?'
'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex.'
'Social Security sex?'
'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live
on!'

LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big
problem, Doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
this Ear splitting yell.' 'My dear, the shrink said, 'that's completely natural... I don't see what The problem is.' 'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'

QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
During a recent lovemaking session, 'How come you never tell me
when you have an orgasm?'
She glanced at him casually and replied, 'You're not home!'

CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled
and torn From his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give
him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery
since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for
small, $6,500 for 'medium, $14,000 for 'large.'
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged
Him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man
Called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor
came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. 'Well, what
have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.
The man answered, 'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you
a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'.'
'Yeah,' she replies, 'when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.''


WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, 'This will
make you happy tonight.'
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over
the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in...


ELDERLY SEX
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year
old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing
him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living Apartment Killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if
she had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, 'Yes, your
honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex .... He could fly.'

LiTe
Forum_Noobie :)
Forum_Noobie :)

Number of posts : 2
Age : 52
Registration date : 2008-10-20

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Types of Sex Empty Re: Types of Sex

Post by Guest on Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:44 pm

Nice.

To add to this theme, there are 4 kinds of orgasms. Wink

POSITIVE ORGASM
"Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes."

NEGATIVE ORGASM
"Oh no, oh no, oh no."

RELIGIOUS ORGASM
"Oh God, oh God, oh God."

FAKE ORGASM
"Oh Karl, oh Karl, oh Karl."

Guest
Guest


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Types of Sex Empty Re: Types of Sex

Post by bellan on Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:08 pm

ceeohelltee wrote:Nice.

To add to this theme, there are 4 kinds of orgasms. Wink

POSITIVE ORGASM
"Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes."

NEGATIVE ORGASM
"Oh no, oh no, oh no."

RELIGIOUS ORGASM
"Oh God, oh God, oh God."

FAKE ORGASM
"Oh Karl, oh Karl, oh Karl."

multiple orgasm

OH BELLAN OH BELLAN OH BELLAN
bellan
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Number of posts : 99
Age : 47
Location : ume sweden
Registration date : 2008-09-02

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Types of Sex Empty Re: Types of Sex

Post by MunkeyPutt on Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:50 pm

We wanted to make this a hetro sex joke only Bellan, only reason we left you and your boyfriends out of this Neutral
MunkeyPutt
MunkeyPutt
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Number of posts : 79
Age : 36
Location : North Carolina, USA
Registration date : 2008-09-08

http://www.minutemenhq.com/roster.asp?Roster=1

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Types of Sex Empty Re: Types of Sex

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